Whatever the cause of your behavior, it is nevertheless sinful. The Bible admonishes you to repent of your interests and behavior. You must forsake them. Not to put too fine a point on it, these deeds are yours, and you will be held responsible. God will not allow you to blame someone else for your conduct, but, believe it or not, this truth is a source of great hope:

The fact that homosexual desires and deeds are willful sins for which the person is morally responsible is overwhelmingly important if there is to be any hope in the Christian perspective on homosexuality. When responsibility for homosexuality is removed, hope for homosexuality as an unchangeable inner domination by those drives or desires doom the sinner to despair. And such despair is unnecessary, unwarranted, untrue to Scripture. Because homosexuality is sinful, there is divinely guaranteed hope for its reversal. Christ came to die for sinners and to deliver them by His Spirit from their sins. Not only has our guilt been removed, but also our moral pollution is being set right.

Homosexual practices are not unpardonable sins. Forgiveness is possible. Repentance and change are possible. Will you cease to engage in practices that are destructive and condemned by God?

For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. (Romans 8:13 NKJV)

As with homosexual lusts, so too with homosexual practices—the war is on. By this time, you have probably developed a whole host of poor sexual practices. Please accept this frank admonition: It is truly a lazy sexual preference to engage in intimacy with someone just like yourself. You may be surprised at this statement, but take a moment to think about it: same-sex partners have the same types of desires, the same types of expectations, and naturally respond in the same way to each other. 

In the end, God requires that your practices align themselves with what He desires. God nowhere and in no way allows for homosexuality. But the one who repents and turns to Him, though the battle will be intense, will not be forsaken. God promises great blessing to those who forsake a life of sin in order to seek His face (Isaiah 55:6–9). The Bible tells us that He is abounding in compassion and slow to anger, though He is at the same time a consuming fire, jealous for His glory (Exodus 34:6–7; Deuteronomy 4:24; Psalm 103:8–14; 145:8–21; Nahum 1:2–8; Hebrews 12:29). The Lord is loving and holy—a benevolent yet sovereign King. As such, you can soon learn the joy of standing in awe in His presence.

The hallmark of Christ’s followers is that they pursue habits of holiness. You are to “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12) and “discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness” (1 Timothy 4:7).6 A life with Christ is a life of discipline. C. S. Lewis understood this about Christianity. He wrote, “It is no good asking for a simple religion. After all, real things are not simple.”7 You must train yourself in the school of God’s Word—knowing what it teaches and laboring to apply it in your life.

If you have been united with Christ Jesus, you are to make no provision for the lusts of the flesh (Romans 13:14). If you belong to Jesus Christ you shall “not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey its lusts.” You shall “not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God” (Romans 6:12–13). Remember, though, that such commands come from a perfect and all-knowing God. 

Since we are created by Him, it follows that we will be most fulfilled when we live in the way in which He created us to live. Augustine stated this well: “Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee.” This world doesn’t belong to the fallen culture that wants to claim it; it belongs to the Lord who created heaven and earth (Psalm 24:1–6; 50:7–15; Acts 17:24–31). Don’t be duped by the lie that worldly ways work best while we’re in the world. This is God’s world, and His ways work best in it. We were created for His glory; when we glorify Him, we will find our greatest happiness (Psalm 16:7–11; 37:1–6). The Westminster Larger Catechism puts it nicely: “Man’s chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy him for ever.”9

To whom do you belong? Do you profess to follow the God of the Bible? If you do, follow His Word and obey His commands: “By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, ‘I have come to know Him,’ and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him” (1 John 2:3–4). 

God doesn’t allow any wiggle room. Both for His glory and for your good, He requires that you forsake homosexual behavior and come to Him in genuine repentance. Be prepared; you will probably lose a number of “friends” who are not true friends in the first place. A true friend—a biblical friend—desires the glory of God before all else and does not seek to encourage you in a lifestyle that is offensive to God and will lead to your hurt. 

Such a friend would point to the Word of God and show sincere concern for you by bringing to your attention those behaviors and interests that are contrary to God’s Word: “Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy” (Proverbs 27:5–6). Never fear faithfulness to God’s Word.

White, J. R., & Niell, J. D. (2002). The Same Sex Controversy: Defending and Clarifying the Bible’s Message about Homosexuality (pp. 205–209). Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House Publishers.

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